I'm so confused. I wish I could figure out what was going on in my life. So I found out Jon is taking these pills to lose weight. I'm thinking I'm going to try to get some too. God I need it so bad. I'm so depressed. Everyday all I see are his growing number of girl-friends, who all just happen to be ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!!! I have decided to stop eating. STOP! I don't care if I end up sick in a hospital. I have to lose this weight in exactly 5 and a half months. I have to be hot too. I need to be hot. I need to have him love me. I need to have him return my affections. I need to have him with me all the time. I need to have him think I'm beautiful. I need to have him think that I'm the only one there is. Then I'll feel so much better about everything.

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