*sigh* I am soooooooooo stupid!!!!! You know how there is just that one person that you shouldn't talk to yet for some reason you do it anyway... FULLY KNOWING! that you are already emotionally involved. No I'm not talking about James contrary to popular belief. That is sooooooo over!!! I realized with him that I deserved to be treated better. Ok so John. He treats me well, we talk everyday. We laugh, we go out, we have a great time. I have a crush. Notice the word crush meaning YOU WILL GET HURT! But he just really likes/loves me as a friend. It's because I'm fat. LMAO! It sounds like a good excuse. He's young, inexperienced and immature, but I can't help myself. Maybe that's what I need in my life a guy who I can just go out with and not "go out with." That would work, but I have to find a guy who I don't have feelings for already. *slaps myself* DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!!!!! *sigh* if it were only that easy. I guess I should break our brunch date for Friday. Ha... Lance just walked in and says I need to! He says he's using me. For what I don't know... but I guess it sounds good. I guess it sounds good because that's all anyother guys has done with me. Used me and Abused me. It's sad to say, but I wonder if I was ever loved. Ya know, that way! Sometimes I want to know and others, I just say, FUCK IT! It's the past! I'm in the Fuck it kinda mood! GO ME! I sound like I'm 14 again. HA! I just need to remember my age.

Sooooo Tired and I have a long day tomorrow!

Happy A.M. Turkey Day!

peace and love,
Dita

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