You know, I really really suck at this whole journal thing. I've never been able to keep a diary. EVER! I remember how my mom used to buy me a diary every Christmas... I'd write in it everyday for a month, then I would neglect it. Next Christmas, I'd find it under my bed covered in dust.
Well I've come to the conclusion that this is something I need to do. I always feel so much better after I pour my heart out.
So this is going to be an extra long diary entry. It's 3:17 now... lets see how long it will turn out.
So I moved to Florida. Yippee! Not! I have come to the conclusion that I am eternally going to be a fuck up and I'll never succeed at everything. The only thing I seem to succeed in is failure. GRRRRRRR!
So let's explain what happened in Florida. Well, I'm not 100% sure.. but I think my roomate is in love with me. Then of course there is the infamous Petey Pablo. I got into a few things I should have never done... and mom yanked me back to Va. Atleast for a while. So now I'm here. If I go back I fear for my life, but if I stay, I loose my internship. I'm destined to rott in Va. So now I have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do about school. I just feel like if I don't go back and chance things, then I'll always live my life wondering WHAT IF... question is... will I come back.
Then there is the whole guy situation. These "SITUATIONS" always seem to be the fire that keeps me upset. I'm still looking for another Ryan. It's never going to happen. So then there is the whole Ryan thing.
I'm home, He's home, So is his new girlfriend. Go figure!
Enough said... that is it's own problem. What do I do. If I see her, I'll kill her. Well not kill. Just smack her around for a while.
Dad. Ok so he really isn't a guy, but he is. I've never had the best relationship with him... Actually, I don't even think you can call what we have a relationship. So there is this big family reunion thing going on this summer. The other side of the family. You know the people who neglected me until I was 20 years old. Now all of a sudden we are supposed to be all buddy buddy and hug. The I Love Yous just don't seem to mean anything. I mean I'm proud for the effort, but 20 years holds a lot to forgive. And forgetting? Ha Ha... forget it!
I think I've lost my pimping skills. The J Club is just depleating. *whines*
Lance... *sigh* My newest "thing"... Well not sure. I have no clue. I have no luck with guys who don't have J's in their name. And don't you just hate it when guys send you mixed signals. Don't make me rub your head for 3 hours, lay your head on my boobs, rub my inner thigh, then preceed to ignore me. I'm doing good. I was worried there for a long time about getting a whole ho-ed out image. I'm doing pretty damn good. Only one slip up...
Joel... he's a pawn, I wanted to molest him, I graduated, he grew up, he's not taken... no fun! Next topic!
Weddings... 3 out of my 5 good friends from HS are getting married. I'm so happy for them, but at the same time I wonder why they are doing this so suddenly. I mean, you're 20 years old. WHY? There is plenty of life to be lived at this age.
Weddings depress me. I'm destined to live in a small house, just me and my dog. That's if I'm Lucky, and Lou-Dogg doesn't run away. Maybe this whole marriage thing would feel different.
Or if I wasn't going to be married in 2 years. Move to NYC, where I would go to Med School at NYU, while my husband taught acting at Julliard and did Broadway. *flush*
I hope he's happy. Cuz he ruined it for me!
Maybe it's weird that people who I had skinned knees with on the playground, got braces with are all gettin hitched. It's just ODD!
Well, I think that's all for now. I'll be back tomorrow!
